


Alive In Me

by ZhenLe



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff (?), M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-11 09:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZhenLe/pseuds/ZhenLe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru is granted a gift of reincarnation, under which there is one condition he must fulfill before he can turn human again.<br/>Meanwhile, Makoto is desperately trying to keep Haru alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reincarnation

**Author's Note:**

> I just had this idea awhile ago, decided to actually write it~ No worries a happy ending is ensured as well. Hope you enjoy

He’s gone. Gone. Disappeared.

Makoto wipes at his puffy red eyes, swollen from days of crying. He feels empty, he _is_ empty. There’s nothing in his mind. A deep dark void, no coherent thoughts, nothing. Once in a while, a familiar name, one that had been a sweet tune on his lips, floats through the empty space.

 _Haru_.

It had always been Haru. Haru, his protector. Haru, his warmth. His solid shield and armour. Makoto could never, had never, imagined a life without Haru. That raven-haired swimmer had always been by his side, always present. He was the one that had chased away bullies, the one that held him when he cried, the one who had taken his hand and pulled him away from everything scary.

It had been Haru whom Makoto had sleepovers with. It had been Haru whom he had pulled to the Iwatobi Swim Club when they were but small children. It had been with Haru when they had snuck a stray cat into the Tachibana’s home, or when they ran through the tall summer grass hand in hand. It had even been Haru, whom Makoto had shared his first kiss with. That was the one day of his childhood Makoto never forgot.

Now, Haru was gone. Gone without a trace, with the exception of his signature pair of blue goggles floating on the ocean’s surface. He had simply disappeared. No one had been able to find him, the missing swimmer. His body had vanished. All too soon, he was declared _dead_ and Makoto’s very soul dimmed and died out.

The funeral was held, despite the strong disbelief that Haru was actually _dead_. Makoto still didn’t believe, refused to believe it. Haru couldn’t be dead. He was just gone. Gone for awhile. Maybe for a short trip. A holiday. A breather away from the stress of life. He would return. Haru _had_ to return. Makoto made sure to be waiting for him.

~

School was a pain. Makoto, the prized student who had not once missed classes or failed subjects was now slipping, close to the bottom. He couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t sit in the classroom without that warm presence by his side. It was always cold, without Haru.

“Makoto, you have to go to school.”

Makoto buried his head further into his pillow. Not today. Not without Haru. His mother would gently stroke her son’s hair, naturally worried about his condition, before leaving him alone. Makoto had never been like that. Of course, there had been the ups and downs in his life just like anyone else. But nothing had ever gotten him this badly. He had always been able to get back up on his own two feet, get back up and face life head on. This was different. This time, Haru wasn’t there for him.

Insomnia then hit him the way enemies lured their prey. Gently and enticingly at first, and then suffocating. Makoto couldn’t sleep properly anymore. The dark rings under his eyes told numerous stories of tears, anger, grief. Pain. Tear stains were always on his cheeks in the morning. His eyes stung despite the darkness. But shutting his eyes meant vivid memories of Haru flashing across his mind. Trying to sleep meant risks of Haru-filled dreams. That was never good the moment he woke up.

As the days went by, Makoto became better and better at hiding his sadness. The sadness that was agonising yet addictive. All of it slowly seeped into Makoto’s entire body, filling every nook and cranny of his tired bones, his aching frame. Inked its way onto his mind, just like a permanent stain on a once-white surface.

There was always one thought that haunted him wherever he went. That would cause tears to well up, or his head to hurt terribly. One thought that made him insanely sad.

_Haru never said goodbye._

* * *

Up in the sky, Haru was still outside the gates of heaven. He stood there, back to the golden gates, unmoving. A strong desire in his heart kept him from entering. A desire so deep, a bond so strong that kept him connected to the world below. It pulsed through his veins, coursed through his body. The only attachment left to Makoto. A cord that couldn’t be broken. This human craving, so strong and so firm.

“Let go. Let go of him.”

Yet Haru wouldn’t let him go. He couldn’t let him go. The chestnut brown hair, the jade green eyes. That warmth that Haru longed for was still on the earth. The strong arms, that broad chest. That was all Haru yearned for, all that kept him outside. His beautiful smile, the way his eyes shone in the sun. His voice, his hands, his everything. Haru wanted it, needed it. He wasn’t going to let Makoto go. Not in a million years.

It had once been a dull ache, but had now evolved and become a monster plaguing his mind. One thought, one wish that had taken over his entire resolve, enveloped his entire being.

  _I want to be with Makoto._

His desire had multiplied so much and so fast, it was impossible to let someone with such human desires into heaven. Haru couldn’t be let in. His heart still belonged somewhere else, his soul someone else’s.

“Okay,” they said, “Fine. We’ll let you go back.”

But there was a catch. One condition that needed to be fulfilled before Haru could return to normal. Return to a normal human life with Makoto. One condition that only he and the Deciders above knew of. If that condition failed to be met, Haru would forever be stuck in this furry body, whiskers and a tail.

Then, it happened. Reincarnation.

* * *

The rain splattered heavily on the ground, its pitter-patter sounds now a range of loud thumps and painful beatings. A lightning storm flashed throughout the sky, followed obediently by massive claps of thunder. Haru shivered and meowed, retreating further into the bushes. He loved water, there was no mistake about that, but since when was thunder so deafening? It was scary.

Makoto sloshed through the rain, walking quickly yet not at top-speed. The rain pelted down on him, his shoulders, his arms, his head. It hurt, yes it hurt. But it didn’t hurt enough to numb the pain still vivid and alive in his chest. The pain of losing Haru. And the weight of keeping him alive.

His heart almost skipped a beat when his sharp eyes spotted a shimmering blue in the bushes. A vibrant oceanic blue, exactly like Haru’s eyes. But what would Haru be doing, hiding in the bushes? Makoto crouched down, cooing for the creature he had just seen to come forward.

Haru recognised that voice immediately, those sweet, sweet wooing noises could only be coming from one person. They were now faintly burdened with a sense of sadness, Haru could hear, but it was still Makoto. Inching forward slowly, eyes bright and on the watch, Haru peeked out from behind…

There it was. That beautiful face. Those beautiful eyes. The beautiful person right in front of him. The one with the beautiful heart and mind; a beautiful soul. _Makoto._

Haru could see the sadness in Makoto’s eyes as he slowly reached out to pet him between the ears, the gentle smile worn down by the despair. The bags under his eyes hadn’t disappeared. This wasn’t the Makoto he had known before, yet he was still Makoto. Worn-out, ragged, depressed Makoto. Haru felt his heart sting. He purred softly, trying to cheer the brunet up a little. He embraced Makoto’s soft gentle touch, his big warm hand. _Makoto, I’ve missed you._

“It must be cold here, let’s go home.”

That was so _Makoto_. Never had the heart to leave pitiful creatures out in the rain. Always thinking of others before himself.

Water was important, that was true. Haru would’ve loved to stay in the rain for the rest of the day. But going along with Makoto could only mean warmth, protection, affection. Maybe even cuddles. And shelter away from the loud thunder. Everything Haru craved for was now right in front of him. He couldn’t refuse as Makoto gingerly picked him up and ran home.


	2. A Million Tears For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Haru sees how disbelieving Makoto is, how hard he's convincing himself that Haru will return, and how much Makoto misses him.  
> Haru has never felt more broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Enjoy hehe~

_Dear Haru._

_How’ve you been? I miss you a lot. When are you coming back? I hope it’s soon. I want to see you again._

_It’s been pretty hectic, the last few days at school. Homework is piling up quickly since finals are coming soon. Ran and Ren are growing up really fast. It makes me feel so nostalgic, the times we used to play together and have so much fun. I really miss you._

_I wonder where you are. How are things over there? Are you having fun? Are you still swimming beautifully? I wish I could know. But you’ll come back soon, right?_

_Let’s swim together again soon._

_With all my love, Makoto._

Watching from the table, tail swishing about tensely, Haru observed Makoto retrieved a small box from the back of his closet. He set it down and opened it, revealing a stack of pale white envelopes all with but one phrase written on them: ‘To Haru’. Makoto placed the newly written one, neatly in its envelope, at the top of the stack before closing the lid with a sigh.

Haru had never been more shocked in his entire life. Nothing had ever been as heartbreaking as… _this._ His tiny heart was beating fast in his small body, emotion coursing through his veins. His whiskers twitched in slight apprehension. Guilt swept across his mind. _Does Makoto think I’m alive?_

His heart was further smashed when he noticed a single tear roll down the side of Makoto’s face. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

* * *

Makoto loved scrolling through their old conversations on his phone. Haru would watch silently, snuggled onto his chest if he was on the bed, eyeing their previous messages. If Makoto was sitting up, Haru would be attentively perched on his shoulder, tail swaying back and forth gently. It was a painful reminder, really, that Haru had just left without any notice. That he had just disappeared one day without telling anyone. Especially Makoto. Leaving those concerns aside for now, Haru stared up at the small screen.

He saw the times when Makoto had worried about his nutrition. Makoto had always harped on the fact that too much mackerel was unhealthy, and Haru needed change in his diet every once in awhile.

_Ohayo Haru! I’m coming over today with some food my mum prepared. Too much mackerel isn’t good for you, ne? :)_

He reminisced the days where they had planned activities together. Sometimes along with Makoto’s family, other times with the swim team members, but most of the times just the two of them.

_Haru, I bought entry tickets to the new water park yesterday! Would you like to come? When are you free?_

Or the times when Makoto had responsibilities to fulfil and they didn’t get to see each other.

_I’m bringing the twins out today, so I won’t be able to come over until later on. Take care until then, Haru!_

He also remembered how random Makoto could be sometimes. Makoto was the most predictable person in the world, yet the most unpredictable at the same time.

_Hey Haru, I was just wondering why the sky was so blue today. It really reminded me of your eyes._

He saw the pictures of cats he used to send Makoto when the brunet was feeling down and the pictures of beautiful oceanic landscapes that Makoto would send him when it was the other way round.

It wasn’t hard to miss the occasional quickening of his heartbeat at particularly sentimental messages, or feel his chest rumble with laughter at the memories. But most of the time, it would end up with Makoto in tears and clutching his phone to his chest. His other free hand would be stroking Haru’s glossy black pelt feverishly, as if it were some sort of cure to his ailment.

Haru started to hate himself for dying. He hadn’t meant for Makoto to be this broken.

* * *

Since when did Makoto keep a journal? Haru had never realised, but now that he thought about it, Makoto was the sort of guy who would do these sorts of little things in life. It was a little comforting, yet very painful, to see how Makoto poured out his soul into that small black notebook with a blue ribbon. It hurt to see how it always started with the same thing. How it always ended the same way.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today, Haru hasn’t come back yet._

_School was normal today. Fujimaki-sensei made us do a lot of work in class. I had a headache, but I don’t know why. Maybe I didn’t drink enough water? Haru would definitely not have this problem at all, haha._

_The cat I found the other day is really cute. He reminds me so much of Haru. His fur is black. In the sun it gives off a blue tint, exactly like Haru’s hair. What’s more amazing is his eyes. They’re so blue, as blue as Haru’s. I love him a lot, maybe I’ll name him Haru-chan._

_That’s all for today. I still miss Haru a lot._

Haru would nudge his way into Makoto’s lap. He wanted to scream, to shout _I’m here_! He wanted to wrap his arms around the brunet, maybe even whisper comforting words into his ear. He didn’t want Makoto to be so sad. He wanted to make Makoto smile, to produce a smile of his own. That was impossible. He was nothing but a cat.

The days went by, mercilessly trudging on leaving Makoto dwelling in the past. Not once did he fail to write a letter. There was not a day that went without a diary entry. Their messages had been so frequently read by now that Haru was sure Makoto had every single word memorised and every picture sketched in his heart. It hurt to see how chained Makoto was. Chained to the past, chained to the darkness in his mind. It didn’t look like he was going to be free anytime soon.

* * *

Letters to a non-existent human and diary entries about said human were already too much for Haru to handle. And Haru wasn’t even the one dealing with the pain swirling in his chest as the letters and words inked themselves onto the paper. It was _Makoto_ that was dealing with all the stress, all the sorrow, the sadness. How Haru could see the misery in his eyes as he focused on the drawing in front of him.

Makoto had always told Haru how beautiful his drawings were. How talented he was at not just swimming, but art. Haru recalled the brunet always laughing at his own silly doodles and drawings, an embarrassed blush present on his cheeks.

_‘Haru-chan will always be the greatest artist!’_

And yet, here he was, sitting at his desk with a pencil in hand. Makoto would lick his lips, concentrating hard on creating an artwork that could be deemed ‘worthy’ of consideration. Haru had never seen someone use the eraser so often in his life. He wanted to go up to Makoto, maybe even stand _on_ his drawing, shake his shoulders and tell him to stop erasing his wonderful work. To start believing in himself a little more. But most of all, to tell him that he was right there, right in front of him.

It wasn’t unusual either, for Makoto’s drawings to be dotted and stained with the occasional teardrop running down his beautiful face. It hurt so much to see his best friend this way. It hurt to see him grip the pencil and write a small ‘For Haru’ at the bottom of each creation. It hurt so much.

Had Haru been human, this might, just _might_ , have made him cry.


	3. Beyond Repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto's mind is falling to pieces, and sometimes Haru really regrets his wishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter, hope you like it ^^ (concrit is very welcome please and thank you)

Haru hadn’t shaken off his water-loving habits _at all_. Whenever he came back from school, Makoto would find him lying in the sink, sleeping. Cats sleep a lot, after all, and since Haru couldn’t swim freely he decided to just be one with the water. Makoto would always smile to himself and stroke his soaked fur, laughing softly and murmuring how ‘Haru-like’ he was.

Whenever Makoto was taking a soak in the tub, Haru would stride into the bathroom silently and pounce onto the boy unsuspectingly. Makoto would yelp in surprise before chuckling and letting Haru into the water.

“I didn’t know cats liked water so much. Do you like to take baths?”

Haru, sitting in Makoto’s hands, would rub his head against Makoto’s stomach affectionately and purr loudly. _Do you recognise me now? It’s me, Haru! The actual Haru! I’m right here. Notice me, Makoto._

But of course, Makoto didn’t know. He didn’t know that Haru had been reincarnated. He had no idea that it was _Haru_ that was by his very side right now. He couldn’t know.

~

“I’m really going to name you Haru-chan,” Makoto smiled as he stroked the cat gently.

Haru had turned down the offer for tuna in favour of the more simple mackerel. Mackerel, the one food that Haru loved so much it had become a part of his life. Makoto, still squatting on the floor as Haru-chan ate his food hungrily, sighed dreamily.

“Haru-chan, you’re exactly like Haru. Sometimes, I wonder if you’re actually Haru.”

His ears perked up. Blue eyes immediately turned to look at Makoto, heartbeat fast and chest tight. _Yes, yes I’m Haru!_ But Makoto was just daydreaming happily; eyes closed and head in his hands. Haru didn’t even bother meowing to get his attention. Makoto just wouldn’t get it.

This was enough for now.

 

* * *

 

Haru wasn’t sure when it started, but something must have went off in Makoto’s brain for him to start acting this way. It was weird, it felt weird, to have Makoto talk to him as if he were human. As if he were the Haru that Makoto longed for. Was this the result of breaking Makoto beyond repair?

“Haru,” Makoto would whisper at night, when Haru was comfortably snuggled next to him, “Today was fun, right? I hope we have another good day tomorrow.”

He would drop off to sleep, a small smile on his lips, occasionally breathing ‘ _Haru’_ in his sleep. Haru didn’t know what to make of it. He was but a mere cat right now, and here Makoto was talking to him like he were a person. Having normal conversations with him. Haru this, Haru that.

Talking to a _cat_ this way simply couldn’t be normal.

~

“Haru-chan, what would you like for breakfast?”

He almost wanted to hiss harshly in response, a _‘lay off the –chan’_ like he’d always say. But he caught himself in time, remembering the state Makoto’s mind was in right now – complete disarray.

Haru rubbed his body affectionately against Makoto’s legs. _Maybe this will help him realise I’m a cat._ Dense, broken Makoto wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. It was as if just by doing this, he was healing himself from the loss. Just by talking to a cat, by pouring out his feelings to an _animal_ , Makoto was starting to smile a little more.

_Did I do this to Makoto?_ Haru started to regret ever harbouring thoughts and wishes for Makoto to finally recognise him trapped in a cat’s body. The Makoto right now was rather…scary.

“Here, Haru, mackerel.”

Taking a seat next to him, Makoto looked as Haru ate up his meal quietly.

“How is it? It’s nice, isn’t it? You still haven’t stopped loving mackerel, Haru. You should eat other food sometimes, I don’t think this is healthy for you.”

_There he goes again_ , Haru swallowed his food, _always worrying about me._

But Haru couldn’t stop the churning in his stomach, or the nauseating feeling he seemed to be getting every now and then. Since when was Makoto like that? Since when had Makoto changed? Since when had he been so broken, he started to malfunction?

When Makoto left for school, Haru leapt into the sink and settled down. He pawed at the tap lightly, turning the water on to a small flow. Water always calmed him, settled him down. Haru closed his eyes and let himself be healed by the water. Except it wasn’t working this time. All he could think about was Makoto. Or rather, the fact that Makoto didn’t seem to be functioning properly anymore.

This wasn’t Makoto.

 

* * *

 

Makoto’s letters seemed to be getting shorter and shorter. On some days, he didn’t even write one. His diary entries became less and less of missing Haru, more and more of life with Haru. After all, he had ‘Haru’ to talk to, to be with. Haru was right there. Right there by his side. Sapphire blue eyes. Mackerel lover. Water addiction. That was Haru.

The past memories seemed to have been blocked out from Makoto’s mind. Those painful flashbacks gone, barred, trapped behind a locked door in a small corner of his brain. Every single memory with Haru was dimmed in favour of creating new ones. New memories with this new ‘Haru’.

Black fur, long tail, whiskers. Makoto seemed to be failing at differentiating between a cat and a human. Haru was now a _cat_ , an animal. No power of speech, no walking on two legs, no smiles or laughs or embarrassing conversations. He wasn’t human. But Makoto still loved him, loved him with all his heart. Loved this fragile illusion of Haru, unable to see the mere cat that was right underneath.

 

* * *

 

“Mm…Haru…you’re hair is so soft…”

Haru awoke to Makoto’s gentle fingers stroking his fur. The brunet was still half asleep – Haru could feel his slow but steady heartbeat, hear the sleep in his voice. Still sleepy (the sleeping-in habit came from being a cat), Haru nuzzled further into Makoto’s neck and closed his eyes again. He wasn’t ready to wake up to reality yet. Not ready to face Makoto yet.

“Haru…are you cold…?”

The blankets were pulled up around them before Makoto turned onto his side, arms embracing Haru’s lithe body, and fell asleep again.

~

It was in the latter half of the morning when Makoto finally woke up. Immediately alert, Haru opened his eyes and sat up, observing the boy beside him.

“Ohayo Haru! I thought you’d be in the tub. Looks like you were tired, ne?”

Haru meowed, a little agitated. It had been days, no, weeks, and Makoto hadn’t realised that he was talking to a _cat_. A cat whom he treated as his long-lost best friend. _Makoto_ , Haru wanted to shout, _Can’t you see that I’m not the Haru you’re looking for?!_

“Let’s go get some breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will most probably be the last too~


	4. Deeper than the Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse is finally broken, both for Haru and Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here's the last part, I SUCK I AM SORRY but thank you for all of you who are reading this. I appreciate any form of concrit/feedback ahh sorry I suck at writing and making endings...but enjoy!~

Makoto rushed into the room, excitedly waving two small white pieces of paper in the air. Haru looked up lazily, wondering what Makoto was up to.

“Haru, Haru! Guess what?” the brunet stumbled forward to where Haru was resting on his table, unable to contain his excitement.

Haru stretched before glancing curiously at the paper Makoto was clutching, like it was the most important thing in his life.

“Haru,” Makoto’s eyes shone so brightly that even Haru felt slightly surprised, “I got tickets to the new water park!”

 _Water._ Haru was up in no time, almost wanting to fling himself onto Makoto’s body in excitement, but suddenly remembered that he was a _cat_ and refrained himself from doing anything rash, especially since cats were probably not allowed into water parks. His whiskers twitched in anticipation.

 “Aren’t you excited, Haru?” Makoto’s own excitement wavered when he received no response.

_I can’t swim like this._

Makoto’s happy smile started to droop and the light in his eyes dimmed, causing Haru to immediately pad forward anxiously. Of course he was excited. But there were so many reasons why he couldn’t express it.

Haru nuzzled Makoto’s large hand to show his appreciation, and then looked straight into his eyes, hoping that Makoto wouldn’t look so downcast anymore.

_Don’t be sad, Makoto._

Not to mention Haru’s eyes were as readable to Makoto as ever, his comforting gesture was taken as a good sign and Makoto’s smile returned once again.

“Then, let’s go tomorrow shall we?”

 

* * *

 

Makoto had fallen asleep with Haru bundled in his arms, unable to wipe a joyful grin off his face. As his breathing filled the air, Haru rubbed his little nose against the warm cheek of his sleeping Makoto and sighed contentedly.

The moon was shining brightly tonight, and the iridescent stars hung in the night sky, illuminating its beauty. Unable to fall asleep, Haru crept out from Makoto’s warm arms and leapt onto his windowsill to stare out into the darkness instead.

A rush of memories flooded through his mind, a pit of unpleasant warmth in his stomach. No matter how hard Haru tried to focus on the old memories with Makoto, they were all overridden by the guilt and the pain from seeing this Makoto suffer. Suffering so painful that his entire memory had been replaced, a mindset altered so drastically that he had now started to focus on nothing but a _cat_. A cat that Makoto mistook for a human.

Leaves rustled in the gentle breeze, the chirping of the cicadas was faint through the thick window. Haru wanted to go back in time. He wanted to go all the way back to the day he died. To the day he chose to swim in the ocean at night, on an especially windy day where the moon was full and as bright as tonight. To the day when he was sucked underneath the surface by a strong current, when he flailed his arms wildly to no avail. And when the water started to fill his lungs, when his cries were drowned out by the water that had turned against him, Haru wanted that all gone.

_If only I had stayed in bed._

“Haru…”

Haru’s sensitive ears perked up at the slightly distressed tone of Makoto’s voice. Turning his head around, he eyed the sleeping brunet who had thrown back the covers unconsciously and had a frown on his face.

_He’s only sleep–_

“Haru…Haru…”

_Why is he so restless?_

Still not wanting to leave his spot on the windowsill, Haru continued to stare silently.

“Haru…don’t leave me…”

In less than an instant Haru was by Makoto’s side, gently nudging his back to assure him that, yes, _I won’t leave you again._

“H-Haru?” Makoto turned to face Haru, one eye opened but clouded with sleep.

 _Ah,_ Haru gently pressed his nose against Makoto’s warm one, _sorry for waking you up._

“Haru!”

Makoto buried his face into Haru’s furry but warm body, arms coiling around him. The sudden burst of affection, or whatever this was, shocked him initially. Betting on the chances that Makoto had just had a nightmare, Haru purred softly into Makoto’s ear, if that was of any help at all.

He was right.

“Haru, I just, I just had the worst dream ever…”

_Tell me about it._

“Y-you were gone…Haru you…you disappeared…” Makoto’s voice was nothing more than a trembling whisper.

“I couldn’t find you, I couldn’t find Haru. Everyone, w-we all searched for days but, but Haru, you never came back.”

Tears streamed down Makoto’s face as his grip on Haru tightened, rendering him useless. Haru was lost – Makoto was dreaming about the past, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I was so scared, Haru.”

Makoto curled his body around Haru, sobbing relentlessly into the sheets and gripping Haru’s fur as if it were his lifeline. It was really, the only comfort that Makoto had right now. After all, Haru couldn’t do anything.

_I hate this stupid body._

 “Ne, Haru…don’t ever leave me, please. I-I need you…” Makoto lifted his head slowly, eyes searching desperately for any sign of a reply in Haru’s own. There was one.

_I won’t leave you. Never again._

* * *

 

It didn’t take very long until Makoto had calmed down once more, now lying on his back with Haru resting in the crook of his neck.

“Ano…Haru…”

 _Hmm?_ Haru waved his tail around, lazily blinking open an eye.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this…for a long time now…will you hear me out?”

Haru stared at his cheek, tan complexion hidden by the darkness of the room. His blue eyes moved up to where Makoto’s green ones were, only to find him staring already.

 _Makoto?_ Haru tensed a little as Makoto’s warm hand caressed his cheek, or in this case, the entire right side of his furry face.

“Haru, the truth is…I-I” Makoto’s throat felt dry, his voice started to wane and quiver. But prompted gently by Haru leaning into palm, he continued.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you, Haru.”

The silence between them was so thick and heavy, neither of them moved an inch. Makoto’s breath hitched in silent anticipation for Haru’s answer. Haru himself felt his insides go all warm and fuzzy. He’d known, he’d known all along. But hearing it coming from Makoto’s mouth, hearing it with actual words. Words that he could hear, maybe just a little more tangible than subtle actions and secret glances. That was something that made him feel dizzy yet exhilarated, nauseous but excited. And it wasn’t long before the response came in the form of Haru’s eyes glowing with a bright fire of passion.

_I know, Makoto. I know, and I love you too._

The look on Makoto’s face was unbelievable. Haru stared at him, burning the beautiful sight in front of him into his memory forever, etching the very scene into his heart and soul.

“So, Haru…” Makoto breathed when he had calmed down a little, “We love each other, right?”

_Yes._

“I-In the, uh, r-romantic sort of way, right?”

_What else would it be?_

Makoto chuckled, so nervous yet so happy, in such a cute way that it further messed up the noisy rhythm of Haru’s heartbeat. His chest felt tight, so tight that it might burst. His cheeks were warm, like a fever or a wildfire spreading across his face.

“Then,” the brunet leaned over, his face a dark red hue, “is it…is it okay to…kiss Haru…?”

_Tsk. Baka Makoto._

But the thumping in Haru’s chest just got louder and harder, the moment he had been waiting for all these months was right at his doorstep. Right now, it didn’t matter to Haru that Makoto thought of him as a proper full-fledged human. It didn’t matter that Makoto’s mind was in a complete mess. That he was having trouble differentiating between human and animal, or that he was living in a dream.

None of it mattered anymore. Everything was going to be alright, after all.

Haru’s head pounded as Makoto leaned over him, his face inching nearer and nearer each second. His eyes were squeezed shut, however, probably out of sheer nervousness and embarrassment and Haru’s heart made a weird flip at how adorable that was.

Just as Makoto’s lips ghosted over his mouth, a bright flash of memory spread across his mind along with the last words the Deciders had said to him.

_‘True love’s first kiss.’_

Haru felt Makoto’s warm lips on his own. He felt Makoto’s fingers on his waist, the other hand running through his hair. Through the thin sheets, Haru could feel Makoto’s entire body pressed against his own, solid, strong, _warm_. Haru himself found his hands on Makoto’s chest, gripping his shirt lightly and pulling him close. Their legs were entangled, the blanket intertwined in the mess.

_Am I…human again?_

When they broke apart to breathe, Haru slipped out a soft

“Makoto.”

The scene that unfolded before his eyes was probably one of the most amazing things Haru had seen in his entire life.

“Haru…ka…”

Makoto was staring at him, wide-eyed, shocked. His mouth was ajar, cheeks turning redder into a full-blown blush as he continued to stare. It was right at that moment when Makoto realised that _this_ was the Haru he’d been waiting for. That _this_ was the Haru that had been with him since they were children. That _this_ was the Haru he had first kissed, and just kissed again. This was no cat anymore. This wasn’t an illusion anymore, this wasn’t a dream.

This was _Haru_.

Throwing himself onto the raven, Makoto wrapped his arms around the pale warm body, one that he had been longing to feel this entire time. Haru himself was in a daze, unable to do anything besides hug Makoto back. The limitations of a cat body were no more, he was finally free.

“Makoto, you’re heavy.”

The brunet was busy nuzzling into Haru’s chest, tears of silent joy staining both his cheeks and Haru. All this time he had been held back by the past, held prisoner by his monster of a mindset, chained. Haru had saved him. Again.

“Haru, I’ve missed you.”

“Un. I missed you too.”

“Haru, I love you.”

“I love you too, Makoto.”

_My love for you is deeper than the ocean._

While Makoto cried, Haru smiled to himself, stroking the chestnut brown hair soothingly. His body felt strangely cool, a sort of airy feeling that he’d most probably never felt before. He didn’t know what it was, until his water-mackerel-filled mindset kicked in. _My jammers aren’t on…_

A strangled cough from Haru filled the air when he realised. Makoto immediately lifted himself up to stare down at Haru, concerned.

“Are you alright, Haru?”

“U-un.” Haru knew Makoto had seen him plenty of times without clothes, but this…this was a little…

“Haru, your face is all red, are you sure you’re alright?”

“Makoto.”

_I’m naked._

Makoto looked like he was about to pass out from embarrassment. Instead of getting out of bed to take a set of clothes, he opted to flop down onto Haru’s chest and wrap him warmly in the sheets. With Haru all bundled up, Makoto smiled gently down at him.

“Are you cold?”

“Get under here.”

“E-Eh?”

 

* * *

 

The moon in the brightly illumined sky did not conduct a symphony of violently crashing waves and bad memories tonight. A calmer, gentler, tone was sung, a beautiful sonata of love in the air. And as their souls were finally reunited under this moonlit sky, the heavens rejoiced in such a triumphant melody never to be heard again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the journey! :)


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